What I knew before hand was I would wake up in ICU. The room was dark, I remember doing nothing but groan and needing water, they used a sponge and dabbed my mouth.Many.Many times, the room was so dark I didn't even see outlines, I just heard voices. A Male and maybe a Female. I slept again and again and had no knowledge of time.That water dabbed in my mouth was amazing to me, In the dark ,It was delivered by no less than Angels.
Sometime Wednesday morning I was delivered to the room where I would spend the the next 7 days, 8 days total counting the surgery. I remember reading Gilda Radner write about Cancer and how she lost days when she went into Chemo. So she didn't even know Jackie Gleason Died when she had a treatment. I guess Medicine has advanced people today get the Chemo and play golf.
This is when I found out when they were inside me they found out my gallbladder was either the size of a Baseball or the surgeons fist and it was removed as well. That proved to be the real recovery. As I thought in the month afterwards I realized that was why I couldn't eat the Pizza and why I got so sick. In short it later occurred to me I was in the beginning stages of death.Honestly that no exaggeration.It was very real. In the room I discovered I had 4 drains going,one on my left side, one in my penis and 2 on the right side. The amounts of drainage were recorded every 4 hours.
Things progressed from liquid,water only to pop to solid food quickly. The time before Friday is hazy to me. The head of our Division came by on Wednesday, but I really don't recall it. I think I talked on the phone to my supervisor on Thursday, she would visit me on Friday with 2 co workers. The flowers arrived on Thursday, that was a surprise, Erin and Tiffany sent them. I worked on political campaigns with them and recently reconnected over facebook.
I had given my mother 2 numbers to call, one was my supervisor and the other a lady in North Carolina who would update my Frank Sinatra message board group on my progress. I'd get a couple of cards from Group members.One on Friday, brought me to tears.
A lady from South Carolina about 3 weeks earlier had Breast cancer surgery. I remembered the day before asking on the message board if she had a favorite album and suggesting everyone play it the day of the surgery.She returned the favor with a similar request. I asked for "Moonlight Sinatra" to be played for me. Anyway, still in recovery at home she found the time and energy to send me a card, I started crying right there on the bed, and said if that doesn't get right here, nothing will. The Card and envelope with the Sinatra Stamp proud resides at my desk at work.
Much of the time is hazy to me. Here are vinettes of what I remember:
-I was a little upset at the nurses when during the visit from co workers they came right in and emptied the drains. On Monday an older nurse asked a visitor to leave when I was drained.
-The nurses decided to remove the urine drain in the middle of the night. It hurt a bit , the male nurse said "Yeah" in sympathy when he did it. The surgeon seemed to wonder why it was done in the middle of the night. Simple I had that brief moment of pain and went back to sleep.That actually was good thinking.
-Nurses and visitors got on for not watching the NCAA tournament, I wasn't interested ,not a KU fan or a big college basketball fan.
-The dry erase board, It had the date and name of the nurses for the shift. I loved the ones who updated it.You really do lose sense of time and in a way that helps with your sanity.
-outside my window on the 7th floor,I could watch birds flying around and marveled for hours and hours one windy day watching them take off and land. I know that sounds like a Ted Baxter heart attack episode moment, but it was really beautiful. Also in the distance was a white house that popped up over cherry trees. We never did find it, that is still a project I have. I think it's ward meade but I'm not sure.
-watching an old Alfred Hitchcock movie "Shadow of a doubt", I'd never seen it before and it's a great movie. Hitch would say it was his best. For 2 hours that morning I was not bothered and it was amazing. What a movie. Joseph Cotten is so evil in that movie.
-I'd never been so drugged before.I went to the X-Ray wing where a stint was placed inside me to help with the drainage. It happened suddenly early in the morning and I was so drugged that when I was wheeled into the room, I was told to step on the table and they would lower it if needed. It literally seemed to me to be 100 feet high. The next day the doctor who preformed the procedure came in and started talking to me. I had no idea who he was.
- It was a blast watching clouds and I looked forward to watching the lights come on the grain elevators that I could see in the distance.
on the 8th I went home.a tube stuck out of my left side and 2 drains connected to my right, I was given instructions to drain them every 4 hours and write down the results.
The one thing I do want to talk about and my biggest memory was walking, was it Friday or Saturday when they asked me to walk. I made it 10 feet and looked out a window, when I got back I felt I ran a marathon. The second walk was maybe 15 feet in the other direction. When I returned I was exhilarated. More so as I made to the end of the hall. Then around the old nurses station in the center of the floor, then 2 laps. I became irritated when a walk was delayed by an hour due to an IV. Each walk was a personal triumph for me. I was just existing until that point then I was living again and recovering.
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